In the Shadows

When I think back on my life, I realize that I've always existed in the shadows of people's minds.  I've never been at the forefront, for as long as I can remember.  I'm one of those types that keeps their head down and just does their work but I don't think I intentionally fell into this role.  Sometimes, it feels like it was thrust upon me.  I've always been "so-and-so's" sister or "so-and-so's" daughter.  My sister was always noticed and me, I was second best I guess.  So it feels like I began focusing on academics, not because I was good at it, but because it was the only way for me to be recognized.

As I was standing in my parents hallway today, I was looking at all of the awards that we've received when we were younger.  Every year my church would recognize the youth at the end of the school year.  One year, both my sister and I received an award.  My award was "Student of the Year" based on academics.  She received "Youth of the Year" based on votes.  Which do you think I would have rather had?

You'd think as an adult I'd be over it but this still haunts me to this day, even in my career.  I work hard and strive for excellence.  I pour my heart into my career and even after having my picture published in the paper for receiving a national award, my community members still approached my sister and congratulated her because they assumed she was me.  Always in the shadows of people's minds.

I'll admit, it hurts, a lot sometimes.  But I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter how many awards I receive or who knows my name.  What matters is that I've done all that I can to be the best me and the best Christian  I can be.  My family and friends don't care how many awards I receive, they love me regardless.  I can't get caught up in the trappings of this world because it's not all about me anyways.  I'll find my light within the Lord and those who truly know me see me for who I am.

Lesson of the Day:  "I Don't Need No Light, I'm Shining"